This was a while ago and I really should've written this down earlier.
On the drive down from San Jose after a very fun weekend at Ivan's I was feeling pretty bummed.
I knew that back in SB there were no group of friends who I had as much fun with.
It didn't help that nobody was in town in SLO when I stopped by.
I was supposed to meet up with YoungSu but he had already left to drive up to San Jose to man a booth at a conference.
So I was driving down, probably past Nipomo area somewhere, when it hit me.
Having fun isn't enough for me.
All this time, I've been seeking for fun, seeking for company.
I realized that what I really need is to have a meaningful life.
I'm not going to actively shy myself away from having fun.
I know that in my pursuit of a meaningful and fruitful life, I will have some very fun times.
It just won't be my focus or my goal anymore.
Right now, I'm not sure what that means or what that looks like.
I just know that I want to bear fruit with my life wherever I am.
Talked to Joel, Ivan, and PYS about it and they all seemed excited about this change of mind; this sense of discontent.
I pray that this search will lead me to live my life as God wills
My car is still acting up.
Got an oil change and a transmission fluid flush over the weekend.
I think I'm going to keep driving my car until it dies.
Probably should take it to a mechanic and get at least some things fixed.
Comments (3)
Discipleship, like all other relationships involving an intimate inter-twining of lives, is usually a slow and painful process that may prove to be very fruitful. Jesus is pretty clear that he calls us to disciple and be discipled. I'm sure there are people in your life in SB or otherwise that could maybe see Christ as something to be treasured above all things and in the worst things in life. All it takes is prayer on the who, the poverty in spirit to know you can't do it without God, and the willingness to be intentional and loving, probably at some cost to you. Your discontent sounds like what Spurgeon says Jesus refers to in the Beattitudes: "Blessed are the poor in spirit..."Spurgeon says to be poor in spirit is simply to recognize our own spiritual depravity. Sprititual poverty and depravity are a fact about the human condition. It exists. But not everyone recognizes it. It sounds like you're starting to recognize it. So the question is, do you think you'd be okay with God taking you on a journey towards revealing more of your spiritual depravity while trusting that you are somehow blessed? Check out a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. i think it might help with painting a picture of what a more meaningful life might look like.
@chowchilla - thanks ed,
i'll definitely keep your recommendations in mind.
yeah, stop whoring yourself out
jk. i like it
